Tomboy in Doll Shoes

Picture this, a group of around ten ladies, seating at a table, slowly eating their lunch. They are talking, the topics keep chaning, from family, to food to fashion. They stop at fashion, after one simply says, ‘I’m a tomboy’, from a statement someone had made.

Now, these ladies have their differences, and for some reason, they rarely agree to disagree.

‘You are not!’ quickly utters one of the ladies in disgust. Things are starting to get awkward in the group, you can see the faces of the others already knowing which side they’ll take.

‘You are in doll shoes and lipstick and nailpolish,’ she says, ‘tomboys don’t dress like that.’

At this point one is probably wondering what a tomboy dresses like. The challenger is in jeans, converse shoes and a t-shirt.

‘My dressing doesn’t say much about whether I am a tomboy or not, besides I like nail polish and lipstick, I believe my personality is the indicator here,’ the other lady saids defending herself in a soft spoken voice.

‘Really,’ the challenger says rolling her eyes.

The other girl keeps quiet so as to avoid any confrontation.

The challenger still wants a challenge.

‘You can’t say you are a tomboy! You have to ‘dress like a boy’ and ‘act like a boy”.

Everyone keeps quiet probably thinking how the conversation has gotten stereotipical.

There is tension in the air until one of the girls asks the rest if there have seen some funny video as she lifts up her phone.

‘Girl Power’

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Its been long since I last did a post and I thought that I’d write about something that would interest me… and has been bothering me after I joined this club that I have been active in… a few times… and left… a lot of times.

I have always been interested in gender issues at first not at much but two years ago my interested increased especially with reference to sexual violence.

At first I had ‘joined’ the women’s or gender or sex club depending on how it is described since my friend was a member and twice or thrice I did accompany her to a meeting. I had a lot of expectations the first time but they died within minutes after I attended the meeting for the first time. I expected change the second time but there was none.

Why was I uncomfortable? Because I was being described as a woman stereotypically is… with Western culture. They assumed that I loved pink, wanted to look like a pop star… or diva, and that I wanted to sing and be sweet like snow white, and do yoga then do zumba once a week. Thy do not at all take into account personality times.

When I joined the club one year later, it was due to personal experience. Truth be old, it never helped, and it will probably be the same for many who need that help. The issues on the ground, in a campus setting were not being addressed. Even if they did, it seemed liked someone had just read it somewhere and came and presented on it without really knowing how it felt. No one ever really came open about personal experience because it was hard… you’d rather go download Oprah or Tyra episodes on an issue you are facing.

The communication was there but not there, you had to be a certain type of an all out there girl to blend in if not you could feel the tension. I forced myself to attend for a semester then the next never really went. Simply because it felt like it was for a certain type of women. And even if you wanted girl power,it had to be under certain stereoscopic boundaries.

In short, you could be empowered, if you were ‘normal’ with reference to society’s standards. If you are the girl who hates pink, forget it. If you are not into partying and hanging out, forget it. If you are the one who is quiet and spends time alone, its for a certain use… although some could say they were… and make sound like it was in a movie, not in real life. It had me question, is ‘girl power’ for every girl, or only for a certain type of girls?

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