I have a habit of assuming that people in certain settings might follow certain rules in life especially in this day and era when so many opportunities are accessible to so many people… but not to everyone.
I’ve always assumed that people want to be independent but I learnt that not everybody wants that along time ago. I’ve always tried to accept everyone they way they are but one thing I was told some months back particularly caught my attention and has been bothering me for some time now. I don’t know why but I think about the statement or advice if that’s the right term on a daily basis.
Well I was with a female friend of mine and we start talking about what we want to do after we are done with university life. Well she asked me about where I wanted to live first and I answered that I actually wouldn’t mind anywhere that will be within my means when I get a job, my first job for that case.
She went ahead to stare at me awkwardly and said she won’t live in something less than a suburb. In my head I’m thinking, maybe she has someone that will give her a job immediately after she finishes school, a very well paying job in that case. So instead of keeping the question to myself, i asked how she’ll do that, maybe I could get some insight from it. Maybe it might make me want to have dream bigger than I already do.
Then she tells me the answer and I keep quiet. She says, well just date a rich man and open your legs for him, and when he builds you a nice house make a small contribution so that he never gets to kick you out. She later explains that she wants to enjoy her money and not on investments like building houses and buying cars.
I don’t know why it got to me so much but I told her that I want to try out working hard and getting my own. This is probably because I’ve been surrounded by women who have dome that, and most of my female friends have pretty much told me they want to do the same with a lot of them already working on it.
A common thing with the two of us and other people I’ve spoken to is that none of us wants to be kicked out and left helpless whether we are relying on a partner / spouse or living with a partner / spouse in the near future. We want to have some sought of power, especially when you grow up in a society where it is common for some things to happen to women. You see women being thrown out with nothing and having to start from scratch or re-marry or at times stay in abusive and violence relationships because they lack financial power to make them leave.
On how you get where you want to be, all I can say is get to the end then justify the means.
For me, if it doesn’t feel right, I probably won’t go ahead with it. For mow it’s first things first so my priority is just finishing my diploma and my degree, and sticking to my philosophy. Well, I believe in struggle and working hard / smart but people also do get lucky, or people don’t always get what they want. Desperate times also call for desperate measures. Whatever will come my way, I’ll just have to wait and see.